"And again - me in between everything. That was strange. As if the one world within myself would suddenly touch the other one. [...] Mum and Dad's joy about the new life changed into a fear of the future. But that did not happen to me. It feels like future here; in this language, in this house, in this place. I know I have a future here."
("Dazwischen ich", Julya Rabinowich)
Which problems can arise when growing up between cultures?
Maria Fellner - 04.01.2020 @ 09:18
Between Two Cultures - Where Do I Belong?
by Catarina Becker und Yasmin Ben Touhami, HPS Buxtehude/Germany
Growing up between two cultures can be very ordinary in many ways. Especially in European countries, the number of people with migratory background is relatively high. However, what exactly does it mean to “grow up in different cultures?”
Let’s assume that both parents are from different countries and you live in one of these. Therefore, as a citizen, you would have to fulfil the cultural expectations of the country you live in. However, what happens to the other half of your identity? One does not want to hide the relation to both heritages, but it can be difficult to live taking both traditions, cultural aspects and customs into consideration. It leaves you with the feeling of being “caught up in the middle”.
In another circumstance, both parents emigrated from the same country. This, for instance, is true for 20. 8 million Germans or in other words 25% of all Germans that are not originally from Germany. Thus, questions are raised on how to live being “caught up in the middle”. We can say from our personal experience that it is often quite difficult. You can never really classify yourself as a citizen of one of the countries. In neither of these countries do you feel at home, and this results in permanent homesickness. However, the biggest problem is: people have the habit of labelling others too quickly. Therefore, statements like “In Germany I am an exotic and in Brazil I am the German” often lead to questioning one’s identity.
Looking for one’s identity and place in this world can be an endless journey through life. This is also shown in the novels “Dazwischen Ich” by Julya Rabinowich or “Tauben fliegen auf” by Melinda Nadj Abonji. Both novels deal with the difficulties of getting along in a new homeland and the daily challenges that result from a split identity. Consequently, we should all be aware that emigration and integration are essential for a person’s mentality, the survival of a culture and the growth of a country. In the same way, both protagonists give account of this exact process of living in another homeland, which is remarkable. Furthermore, the novels strongly appeal to the readers. Self-reflection and impressive questions are immediate results.
In the end, living between two cultures is anything but easy and leaves behind traces that result from insecurities and the questioning of belonging and identity. In the end, it is a personal decision to relate to one culture or homeland. No one else has the right to make this decision for you.
Catarina Becker - 10.03.2020 @ 15:41
I think if someone is growing up between two cultures, problems don't have to appear, but often some occur. For example, if one's parents speak different languages, celebrate different traditions and practise different religions, one day one has to decide for oneself. A decision like in the example is really not easy because a person might feel like he or she would let mother or father down if he/she didn't take over the same opinion etc.
Hannah Daxer - 16.03.2020 @ 13:31
I really like your thoughts. Actually, it should be nice to grow up in different cultures because you can earn so much life experience and knowledge. One problem of such a life could be that you can't execute both cultures forever. This raises the question of someone’s true identity. You don't just have to choose a way of life, you also have to neglect the other culture. I think that this iniquity, where you really belong, also brings problems. You're somehow part of multiple cultures, which is nice, but you've never reached 100% and that can call self-confidence and identity into question.
Irina Berndl - 25.04.2020 @ 11:17
Hey Guys!
Your article is great, I really have to say that. You say so many important things, bring up many thoughts, and all in all I just loved to read it.
Now I want to link in here with the book "Call me by your name". Actually, it is a summer romance in Italy, but that's not the part I want to attach to right now. Though, if someone has read it or is interested in it, feel free to send me a message, I love the book and I am always down for a good discussion. The important part for this topic is the fact that in the small town, where the story is located all kinds of people live. They are all mixed, French people with Italians, Jews and Catholics, Americans are also there, it's a great colourful mix of different ethnicities. And, somehow it all works. They all get along very well with each other, are friends no matter where they are from or how different they live. I am asking myself how that comes. My thoughts are that possibly that is because they live kind of isolated. They have built up their own little world, cut off from the rest of us, and that own little cultural mix is like an own system. But that is just an assumption, I am still guessing around where that came from.
Also you said it is very difficult for some people to combine their heritages. And you’ve got a point there. I think it often is like that, but actually, it doesn’t have to be. This only occurs (or it looks to me like that) when people are scared of change. When they refuse to change their lifestyle, to accept new things and create a new life - when they want to stick to old habits at all costs. I can understand that changes are often scary and stuff, but one day we just need to let go, in order to create something even better. Often, when we grow up under certain circumstances, we are so used to them, that we don't see the flaws anymore - they are so familiar, were always like that, so that it doesn't even come to our mind that it probably would be better to change them a bit. What is most important is, I guess, not to close your eyes from uncomfortable truths, and not to be scared to start a new chapter of your life. Maybe you think everything is good just as it is and that's why we want it to stay that way and not leave this chapter. But what if the next part of the book of life is even better?...
Marie
Marie Naschberger - 06.05.2020 @ 14:24
Hi:)
I really like your article. I think this is a very important question in the XXI. century. "Who am I?" I can absolutely agree with your thoughts, especially with this: “it is a personal decision to relate to one culture or homeland.” Nobody should make decisions about your identity, just you. This decision can be really difficult, but everyone has a felling deep inside about it. I heard about a family, where the kids are bilingual. I think being bilingual has advantages and disadvantages too.
First of all, it is a very huge help by learning, that you already can speak two languages, this could rise your chances in a job interview. They are growing up exposed to two cultures, and because of that they know both of them very well, so they will have much more knowledge about differences.
But, on the other hand, I can say that these kids have sometimes a very hard and big question about their own identity. I find your book review very interesting. Because of their theme I will read them. Thanks for this great article; I really enjoyed reading it.
Zsuzsanna Kémenes - 29.05.2020 @ 20:00