"As everything happens so fast and we move from one city to the next, as we are travellers and rootless, we have not got any time left for interhuman relationships." (Anais Nin)

Which positive and/or negative experiences have you got in dealing with young people?

Hermann Hausmann - 24.02.2019 @ 10:16

Are relationships obsolete?

by Tímea Karmacsi, DNG Budapest/Hungary

Based on the quotes of Anais Nin, the speed of life has increased and relationships between people are not  as deep as they were before. I agree with this statement that life can be unpredictable, we never know what comes next. In many cases we need to leave behind our friends and loved ones because we don’t have any other options. However, there is no excuse for not caring about them or ignoring them later on.

http://belsobeke.com/no/elengedni-de-hogyan/

Once I read a book written by Kazuo Ishiguro from which I learned that ignoring a long-distance friend or a loved one is not a possibility. The book has a story, where two people  fall in love into each other, who have to be organ donors. The novel “Never let me go”  amplifies this statement even more. The book presents the lives of three  people who had terrible fates. I also learned from the book that it is better to leave some people than to stick to old faded memories. Regarding this topic I have another quote: "I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart. That's how it is with us. It's a shame, Kath, because we've loved each other all our lives. But in the end, we can't stay together forever.“

In my opinion, it is easier today to  maintain a relationship. The most important thing is not to meet every day, but to spend quality time together when we meet again. I live far from many of my friends, sometimes even months pass by before we can meet again. Although we rarely meet,  everything  continues as if nothing happened. One of my friends lives in Germany, I got to know her during a student exchange program. Since then we have been great friends, that’s why I think that long-distance relationships can survive over time if the two  parties want them to last.

Are the relationships nowdays relevant?

by Dalma Kovács, DNG/ Budapest

https://www.google.com/search?q=beziehungen&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjezLq7ipThAhXDmIsKHXHMArwQ_AUIDigB&biw=1366&bih=625#imgrc=sNKwGmgTU5g6QM:

In my opinion, tenagers are being affected by their contemporary relations. As matter of fact family background and values from parents can help them to make the right decision. AnaÏs Nin says: everything happens so fast, people’s impressions aren’t  deep and weren’t durable and people couldn’t get good or bad conclusion from these impressions. In my view teenagers mostly live on social media sites and it means that they draw attention to themselves, share their views about everything and they communicate on social websites. They think it’s easier to share their feelings about love or hate in writing. Another important thing is that contemporary groups always have a leader and the group members sometimes do what the leader wants them to do, but they don’t agree with him because group members don’t want to be eccentric. Most of the people don’t have self-esteem and they are impressionable in bad and good thing as well. Youngsters and teenagers are affected by the Internet and they want to correspond to these expectations (eg. fashion, music). Most teenagers think they should belong to a group, because they don’t want to be lonely.

I suggest a book by Lylia Bloom on this topic. This book is about a girl who was under traumatic pressure and withdrew from the world, because she was afraid of a new dissapointment. She has overcome this situation but she needed a real and deep relation and after this she was able to trust in the others and herself. To my mind, such a truth needs real relations, honesty, endurance and authenticity.

Hi Tímea and Dalma,

Thank you for sharing your opinions on this topic. Your articles are very interesting and I really enjoyed reading them. I can completely agree with what you say about relationships nowadays. I think relationships are more relevant than ever. In this massive society all around the world, there are so many ways to connect with other people. But we still feel more alone than ever before. That's one reason why I think we should really focus on our friends, our real friends that carry us through every situation.

One book I have in mind when I think about relationships is "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. Charlie writes letters to an imaginary friend and tells him everything about his life. He lost his best friend to suicide and tries to figure out what is really going on and how he can find his way back into society. The book shows his struggles and although it takes place over 25 years ago, it's still pretty accurate. We have all the possibilities to make new friends but it is very complicated  to find the right ones. The ending of the book brings up so many emotions. It is not always easy to be a friend. Charlie for example doesn't find a way to manage all the struggles of life and breaks down.

My personal opinion is that you don't need the internet or phones to be a good friend. If you dedicate the time you spend with each other fully to the other person you are a good friend. It isn't neccesary to meet every day or week or even write to a person. For me friends are those who can come to me everytime, even if we haven't seen each other for weeks or months and talk to me. And those types of relationships that don't need permanent connection will never become irrelevant.

Laura Eichmüller - 14.05.2019 @ 21:25

Dear Tímea and Dalma!

Thank you for your articles. They are really valuable, and I totally agree with both of you. Nowadays people have more relations during their life, but the quality of them is much worse. We can find “better” friends using the Internetfor example. We have a bigger choice, and we can know people who have the same hobbies as us. On the Internet we can create the best version of us, but is that who we really are? We also don’t know if the person we know online is real.
I found a good example in a book I read. Two main characters didn’t like each other in real life, but they liked the same, not so popular music band. They were texting each other about it and didn’t know who was on the other side. It turned out they had similar characters and sense of humor. But what happened when they found out who they really were? I recommend reading the book “P.S. I Like You” by Kasie West.
Tímea, you’re totally right, when you said that the most important is the quality of time we spend with our friends. And I also have a friend in another country. We have never met in real life, but I think we have good relations, because we dont’t write to each other very often, but we send long letters. And in my opinion the fact of waiting so long for news helps you
appreciate the relations. I also agree with your opinion, Dalma- nowadays we have problems with communication. It’s much easier to write something than honestly talk with another person. And it’s true that we spend so much time on social media, that we sometimes don’t have our own opinion. And this is very sad. Summarizing- we should pay more attention to the quality of our relations, not to their number.

Pola Palonek - 15.06.2019 @ 18:49

Hi Timea and Dalma!

We liked the articles and the topic is very interesting and important. 

Relationships can be hard sometimes, and they can also be unhealthy. Then you should know, when to let the person go and end the relationship or if it is worth holding on to it. 

We think that the internet is a great way to stay in touch with friends around the world. It makes it easier to keep the relationship alive, but it can also be dangerous. For example if you meet a person on the internet and you decide to meet him or her in real life but the person can pretend to be someone else. This is also called catfishing. 

Alma Green - 03.10.2019 @ 13:52